Tag Archives: humor

One liners from this year’s Edinburgh Fringe

The top fifteen funniest jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe:

1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change”
Ken Cheng

2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book” –
Frankie Boyle

3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” – Alexei
Sayle

4. “I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving
house till I find her” – Lew Fitz

5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” – Andy Field

6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant” – Mark
Simmons

7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a
name for it …” – Jimeoin

8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” –
Ed Byrne

9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died … which was lucky,
because he trod on a land mine” – Olaf Falafel

10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my
God, me neither!”‘ – Alasdair Beckett-King

11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a
men’s singles event” – Angela Barnes

12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently
people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” – Adele Cliff

13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it” – Phil
Wang

14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark” – Adam Hess

 

 

Credit: Drew Forrest of Key Financial Strategies LLP via Mike Sell at Total Media

Image credit: The Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society

 

 

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“We seem to have ran out of coffee”.

“We seem to have ran out of coffee”.coffee

“Run”.

“Eh?”

“Run. We’ve run out of coffee”.

“I know. I just told you that”.

“No, you said ran. We haven’t ran out of coffee”.

“Where is it then? I couldn’t find any”.

“There’s none left”.

“You just said we haven’t ran out”.

“Listen, for God’s sake – we’ve run out of the damn stuff!!”

“Err … you ok? You been drinking too much caffeine or something?”

 

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Filed under Humour, Language